Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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