Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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