Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
