where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
