So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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