the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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