Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
