I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize