I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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