My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize