She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
