I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize