shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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