You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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