I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
