talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
