I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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