so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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