I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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