Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
