Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
