Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
did i walk over a car last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize