my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
