oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
