Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
