wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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