um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
