I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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