i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize