this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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