bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
