Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
