just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
