I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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