Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
