I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
