She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
