he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
