He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
