I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
