You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
