Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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