so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
