where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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