According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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