we made out on top of his cat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
