they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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