i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
