i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
