I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
