You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
