Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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