No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dignity is for republicans.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have aggressive nipples.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
