New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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