He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
