i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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