no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
