Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
