It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
