Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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