Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
