someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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