I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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