I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
