I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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